Suspense Gives Up Church To Return To Dancehall
Dancehall artiste, Suspense, raised eyebrows in 2017 when after winning the talent competition, Magnum Kings & Queens of Dancehall, she decided to quit Dancehall and become a more devout Christian. She was baptised at the Celebration Church in Portmore, St Catherine, on, October 1, 2017.
At the time she told the Jamaica Observer that: “I will be deejaying for Jesus. I will not be doing any explicit or derogatory music but I will be doing dancehall/reggae gospel.”
She even said the she was now on the straight and narrow back then. Fast forward to 2020 and it seems she’s once again had a change of heart and revealed to STAR Magazine that she intends to return to Dancehall full time.
She explained her reasons citing hypocrisy in the church as a major one. She also said that she was tired of living a lie. The artist admitted that she still attends church but said she doesn’t connect with the message being shared anymore.
“I still go to church, but I’m not a Christian anymore. I can’t live the church hypocrite life. I can’t have one foot in and one foot out. I’m trying to find myself and I’m truthful in myself, I can’t pretend and feel uncomfortable. I worship every single day, every morning, every night but me just nah do the church thing anymore,” she said.
She continued on to say that she began to lose herself and didn’t know who she was anymore.
“In the Christianity world, I felt lost. Trying to get the Holy Spirit, trying to live that life, I was more than overwhelmed. At first, it was great and I was feeling very good about turning way from the sinful world, but then it started to feel like me put mi self inna prison. I turned my life over and I was trying and praying not to turn back but all I wanted to do was dancehall music, not dirty, raunchy music, but dancehall.”
Suspense said that at the time of conversion she was battling some personal demons and she needed time to figure these things out. She compared her spiritual journey to someone who is looking for comfort in the arms of a lover. She also said that while she got the comfort she needed and doesn’t regret her decision, she is much happier being a Dancehall artiste.
She will now be looking to break back in to the genre and has recruited a new manager and aims to start posting on YouTube on her channel. She doesn’t intend to rush things though and is content taking it one day at a time.
“I did care so me nah just jump back out deh. When me feel mi self a turn back, all me did a pray for was ‘no God, no’. It wasn’t what I wanted, it just happen. I judge myself enough so anybody weh go judge me can gwaan. Me know say turning back wrong, but in church, I was unhappy. When God call my name nobody can’t answer and vice versa, so dem need fi worry about dem self and not me.”